Emotional Dumpsite

school: I just graduated april 23, 206…
i really missed going to school. Well, actually, i really missed going to UP. I missed jogging at the acad oval late at night. I missed the cold and fog enveloping the whole campus at this time of the year. I missed my sports and dorm activities. Gone were the days of bumming around, of late nights with my thesis partner, of pigging out with ate paning’s junkies. No more moments with the badettes, walking around the campus, chatting the night away with friends. No more crush hunting,  slaving over a project, production work, quiet times at the library…  im hoping that i could back to those idyllic/stressful times. Maybe one day, i will. But now now.

WORK: i started working june 29, 2006.
i admit, i wasnt prepared to work. yes, i was all around the metro last summer looking for a job, seemingly excited of the thought of earning my own money. But i wasn’t prepared to face reality. The profession that i was supposed to enter will bring me nowhere, unless i have the right connections, which i dont. anyway, i’m now in the banking world, which i have never dreamed of entering. But because it’s financially rewarding, I’m in and  don’t know when or how I’m going to quit it. Now quitting isn’t a negative word here. Because the job really sucks. As in S-U-C-K-S. maybe because it’s far more different from what i have studied back in college. I’m free-spirited. But with this kind of job, I feel like the fire in me is gradually dying out. My sense of adventure goes away with it. My heart is hardened. I taught myself not to give/spend time with my family. I taught myself to put smile in my voice even when i’m hurting, even when i’m sick; to still be respectful even when people are cursing and shouting at me. and these are all in the name of what? BONUS. PROFIT. THE BANK. shit. but what can i do? I’m benefiting from it financially. but ONLY FINANCIALlY. but the best thing about the work? I met friends that’s worth keeping. love you guys.

family: i just realized that my family is on the top my priority list.
well, next to God of course. I know it’s a little too late to realize that but at least i did. That ‘moment of truth’ was when i wasnt able to go home in time for christmas eve… i was willing to extend my vacation and defy my superiors at work, just to be with them for one more day (but the truth was i was sick with asthma.. more of this later). but now, i’m still away… one day soon, i’ll go back home.

friends: have lot’s of them.
Lately i’ve been spending more time alone, like new year thus i have this feeling that I am a loner. Yes, i’m surrounded by friends but  sometimes i like being alone. Maybe that doesn’t make us a loner because we all want to be alone at one time. I treasure the times spent with my friends. And i embrace those time alone with myself.

heart: i’m in love with love.
but with somebody? I dont know. in like, yes. and it may be bordering to harmless infatuation. And maybe it’ll turn to love, if, and only if, the recipient will do something about it. I still have this principle that the guys always make the first move. Maybe a little encouragement from my part but that’s all. haha. i have a lot of assumptions. but im dense. i need IT to slap me in the face for me to know and believe IT. even if you don’t fit my major requierment (which is height) you’ll still do ‘coz my heart says so. and yes, im over that other person and i have moved on completely.


health: im healthy.
im even getting bigger everyday!haha. kiddng. im tryng to loose weight by not eatng. I know it’s not healthy. I eat breakfast, though. which, i think, is the most important meal of the day. As for lunch and dinner? I eat whenever i feel like eating. As for my asthma, i had it when i was a kid. and because of my job (i assume) i am suffering from it again. And when i say suffer, as in real suffering. I’m not allowed to eat chocolates chicken and seafoods! I have to take two kinds of meds 3x a day. and sometimes i wake up late at night wheezing with my cough.

sheesh, i need t jog more often.