Emotional Dumpsite

my mind’s blank. empty. except for a whole lo of things. isn’t it ironic? here i am whacking my brain to try to fill it with ideas on what to write for my article, no, make that articlessss, for the COLLumn, and i can’t think of anything. but i’m writing an entry of my blog. i have lot’s to write for my blog but nothing for my article. i’m not a writer, that i’m sure. but i’m a leader, the reason why i’m with the COLLumn. the editor-in-chief. i would like to be the chief but not the editor! ha!

anyway, i would like to share my current state of mind. it’s in a state of unrest. lately i’ve some thoughts that kept on bothering me. thoughts on life, love, future, dreams, work, plans, contentment, etc. there’s no order, everything just kept on popping all at once. i couldn’t helpt but think that maybe one day soon i’ll go crazy. but i don’t think that’s possible. im as sane as any ordinary person who had experienced a lot, good and bad.

here are just some of the bits amd pieces of my thoughts:

life. what am i going to do with my life? i have lots of things that i want to do but most of them translates into unreal, intangible things. i’ve been living for 21 years now but im still not sure on where to go and what to do with my life.

love. did i mention that i’m already 21 years old and still single? you may say that there are a lot of people out there who are older and still single. well, maybe they dont want to have a partner but i do. but i’ve learned to accept that i can wait no matter how long it takes. but i can say that i did love once (and i’m talking about romantic love, all right?) and was hurt many times. now, i’m near to loving someone but i’m already hurting. i havent even started it yet but here i am slightly bleeding. isn’t it unfair? you love once or twice but you’ll hurt a hundred times? maybe that’s love. so why still love? i don’t know, i don’t know.

dream. lately, i want to become a singer. that’s why i want to enroll in trumpets. i want to be a business woman that’s why i’m asking for opinions of ‘businessmen’. i marry a basketall player (ha). well, that’s why it’s just a dream. it’s up to you if you’ll pursue it or not.

work. now i think this would make me crazy! insane! i don’t like my job. but i like the people (except of course for ms.annabelle), the company, and of course the money!haha. now im torn, to leave or not to leave. that’s is the question!

contentment. i think im contented with my life right now. or maybe i’m not. i’m not sure. haha.

excuse my grammar, my thoughts are free flowing so it would be hard to check on it when i really want to write my thoughts.